Monday, June 29, 2009

A Response to Cynics of Love

After reading and discussing love and relationships in class I believe it is very easy to be horribly cynical about love if you've never actually been in love. Dorthy Parker is a prime example, sure I'm not 100% positive if she was married or not, but I can say with a high degree of certainty that she has never been in true love. When you're with someone that takes your breath away every time they walk into a room you can count to a million and not get bored. Besides she says "men delight in novelty" so do women! Just because you have to give some thought about being with your lover doesn't mean there's no novelty! People who are cynical about love and relationships are, at least in my opinion, lazy. Being single is easy; you only have one person to please. I can tell you, though, that pleasing both you and your significant others a million times more rewarding than it will ever be to just please yourself. Don't hat on lovers because you're too lazy to put any sort of effort into a relationship. That's what a relationship is: caring about someone SO much that you'll do everything and anything in your power to make them happy. That may mean giving something up for yourself, or not doing what your id tells you to do, but no matter what the amount of effort you put in will be paid back a million fold.

As for monogamy in general I believe it works. It may not work for everyone, but I've never been happier than when I am with Kimberley. When we're apart I feel so empty and.. alone.. I can't stand the thought of being without her. You may think that amazing new relationship sorta deal, but we've been together way past that stage. Sure it's not that sappy uber newness, but I feel that it's far better now than any new relationship can be. We know so much about each other, we're so.. compatible! One of the things that fuels a new relationship is that feeling of not knowing if it will work; you're both afraid so you try harder and do more for the relationship. In the end, though, it has the chance of ruining the whole thing because that's not who you really are. Or you fool yourself into thinking it's what you want and when it does work out you realize you don't.

So for me, I love her with every part of my being and I truly believe that it will only get better from here. As far as those naysayers, just wait til true loves comes and blows you away! When it does you'll look back on your cynicism and bitter poetry as an older person looks back on a young ones naivety. Trust me on this, true love is an out of the world experience and no crappy poet will change that. I seriously think that it's not peoples place to talk about things they don't know or understand, especially things that are truly magical. Love is one of those things! It's so easy to bitch and moan about how you don't have anyone and how love is stupid and how you despise the whole idea, but if you just took a quarter of that so called "passion" and energy and put it into finding another person you'll find out what it really means. Why is it that as humans we would much rather rant and rave about things that bother us, but yet never actually do anything to change those things; Even when it's in our best interests to go out and do something with our lives and find true love. I understand it's hard, I do, but why must you become a bitter person and try and burst everyone else's bubble? I'm sorry you don't have a love or you had a bad break up or whatever it is that's making you a bitter person, but I don't think you have any right to write shitty lyrics or poetry proclaiming how evil and wrong love is. It's an amazing thing and it makes people happy. That in and of itself should make a difference and make you open your eyes and find someone, or to actually work for your relationship because news flash, cheating on your partner is not the way to go. Sex is a very small part of a relationship, it's needed and one hell of a good time, but it is not the substance of your relationship. Just being with the other person should be more than enough to satisfy you, and guess what? If the sex has fallen out of your relationship and it all goes to hell the answer isn't to go fuck around, work through your problems, bring that spark back because if you don't it will all just come crashing down around you. When that happens and you lose not only your sex buddy, but possibly your one true love, it'll hit you the hardest. It's not worth it. Period.

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